Lars (Ryan Gosling) is a recluse who, as recluses tend to do, hides himself from the world. He shuns the advances of a girl from work (Kelli Garner), and avoids any sort of situation (i.e., breakfast) with anyone. After a bit of a confrontation with his sister-in-law (Emily Mortimer), he gets a Real Doll, Bianca, from the web and claims he “met her on the internet”. She is wheelchair-bound, but very sweet. Lars treats her like she’s completely real and the town decides to go along with it to help Lars through whatever psychological delusion he is having. As a result the whole town bonds with Bianca, and helps Lars come to terms with how the world works.

And no, he doesn’t sleep with Bianca.

I found it surprisingly entertaining, though a bit run of the mill. I saw everything coming before it happened including the ending. I’m not saying that’s bad by any means because it was a very sweet movie, and made me smile for a good while after watching it. It’s just a nice movie to watch, especially when you’re feeling a bit of a recluse yourself.

It has a strong feeling of coming of age, but by throwing it through such a different light it allows you to appreciate it without having the cast all 28-year-olds pretending they’re 17 at the prom. There are deeper moral lessons to be found within the film, if you’re willing to look for them; the largest and most prominent is the idea that you should help those you love, regardless of what that means. There is a scene where Gus and Karin argue about going along with the Real Doll that I just have to quote here:

Lars Lindstrom: You don’t care.
Karin: We don’t care? We do care!
Lars Lindstrom: No you don’t.
Karin: That is just not true! God! Every person in this town bends over backward to make Bianca feel at home. Why do you think she has so many places to go and so much to do? Huh? Huh? Because of you! Because – all these people – love you! We push her wheelchair. We drive her to work. We drive her home. We wash her. We dress her. We get her up, and put her to bed. We carry her. And she is not petite, Lars. Bianca is a big, big girl! None of this is easy – for any of us – but we do it… Oh! We do it for you! So don’t you dare tell me how we don’t care.
[walks into house and slams door]

Something about this scene just touched me. It’s so strong and so honest that it endeared me to Karin for the rest of the movie.

The music (and in many scenes the stark lack of) was amazing, and I’m trying to get my grubby little hands on it. It’s been a while since I’ve seen music that suits a movie so well. Ryan Gosling gives an admirable performance as Lars, and kudos must also go to Karin, his sister-in-law. The cinematography was top notch considering one of the actors wasn’t even real. Despite this setback, scenes are still filled with the emotion needed to carry it through with flying colours.

I have to complain about two things. The first is the rest of the cast: everyone else seems very cookie cutter. The older brother who snorts at the idea of his brother having a delusion; The awkward-cute girl that likes Lars; the work pervert; the black girl; the knitting circle; etc. Lars and Karin are the only two characters with any real character. My second annoyance is with the multiple instances of montages. At least four happen throughout the film, and I couldn’t help but let it bug me.

Watch this movie. It won’t win any awards, but it’s a solid movie from every aspect. Good story, great acting, fantastic music, and a warm fuzzy moral in the end.

7.5/10

The movie Juno is about one Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page) and Paulie Bleeker (the ever master of awkward pauses, Michael Cera) and their joint child-making. The movie takes place during the nine months of Juno’s wonderful adventure through pregnancy, and her interaction with the adoptive couple Vanessa and Mark Loring (Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman).

Admittedly, not the most accurate portrayal of someone being pregnant that I’ve ever seen, but the movie uses the pregnancy as more of a means to an end rather than the focus. Juno (the girl) is apparently unable to carry on 80% of her conversations without busting out a (admittedly very funny) one-liner. Putting that aside, the rest of the movie is quite solid and worth every penny I spent on it. Juno maintains a good pace and has fantastic closure at the end, something that I have found lacking in recent films that I have viewed.

I do have to say though that I’m pretty sure the movie was written with Michael Cera in mind. No one else could have played his character better. I am sad to think that he has unfortunately type-cast himself to being “the awkward guy”, what with doing it so well. Shockingly though, his roll is only a minor one which I appreciate because it allows the focus of the film not to be distorted with his role.

The other thing that I have give mention to is the soundtrack to this movie. It’s a solid collection to begin with as it sports such artists as Belle & Sebastian, Kimya Dawson, Buddy Holly, and even Sonic Youth. What makes the album that much better is that after you have seen the movie you can tie so many of the songs to cute moments within the film. That is really what makes this soundtrack shine, though it’s pretty solid standing on its own and it even offers a cover of one of the songs direct from the movie featuring Michael and Ellen themselves on the guitar and vocals. It’s cute, if not a bit off sound-wise.

Totally worth seeing, and I implore everyone to watch it. It’s one of those movies that will mostly go under the radar from daily viewing, but is an complete and utter gem. Solid acting, cute story, and a wonderful soundtrack make this movie absolutely worth it. I plan to own it the second it comes out onto DVD.

9/10

I tried to watch this movie, and take it seriously. Honestly I did, and I am sorry to everyone who was around me who was also trying to watch the movie seriously. I didn’t mean to laugh at it so much, I really didn’t! But when a man is naked for over half of the film, has questionable (at best) dialog, and so much over the top fighting that a Die Hard fan would squeel with joy… well it’s just too much for me to try and take seriously. For Christ’s sake, he was naked for an entire portion of the movie! He is some how impervious to cliff walls, has the most un-interesting voice actor I’ve heard in a long time. The start of the movie honestly had me thinking that Shrek was going to burst through the door at any moment and let one rip.

The big problem with this movie is that it was made up to be epic. I’m talking 300-esque epic. I was expecting 2 hours of retarded amounts of fighting, screaming, and sword-swinging. What I got were two sub-par fight scenes, a wretched storyline to tie them together, and some of the most 1-dimensional characters I have ever witnessed. Beowulf could have been cut down to about 15 minutes. 10 if you took out all the story and talking, and just went straight to the fighting. It would have basically been the following:

• Monster busts in and throws down. People run away.
• Beowulf enters from the other side of the room. Epic choir music with a solid fighting drum beat
  
• Beowulf: *SCREAM*
• Monster: *SCREAM*
• Beowulf: *SCREAM*
• Monster: *SCREAM*
• Something explodes, possibly the mead cauldron.
• Beowulf: *SCREAM*
• Monster: *SCREAM*
• Slow motion of a single drop of water falling from the roof and hitting the ground between the two
• 6 minutes of fighting ensues here, complete with back-flips, wall runs, 4 story-tall leaps, and enough sound effects to make an audiophile cream.
• Beowulf: *SCREAM*
• Monster: *SCREAM*
• Beowulf: *SCREAM*
• Monster: *SCREAM*
• Beowulf: “I am Ripper… Tearer… Slasher… Gouger. I am the Teeth in the Darkness, the Talons in the Night. Mine is Strength… and Lust… and Power! I AM BEOWULF!”
• Monster: *SCREAM*
• Beowulf chops off the arm of the monster
• More explosions as the music climaxes.
• Beowulf: *SCREAM*
• Fade to black and end with a lone violin.

Now repeat that with a dragon, and you’re done. Simple. No useless junk to screw it up.

To the movies credit, the animation was fairly impressive and from what I’m told the 3D version of it is amazingly well done. I think they spent a little too much time making the water look real, and not enough on the people in it, but that’s my personal opinion. It was also neat to see that they mapped all of the voice-actors faces and grafted them into their CG counterparts. It was an interesting experiment that I think they pulled off rather well. I can see this becoming more and more common in the coming years.

Watch it in 3D for the value added, or watch it with a lot of alcohol in your system. Avoid it otherwise.

3/10

Much of the movie revolves around the Vietnam War, and the protests that went on during the time. All the characters are pulled into differing sub-cultures and left to their own devices, and are let to play out their lives with what they’ve gotten themselves into. It demonstrates what people are capable of when they feel the need to work for something. It displays people in their best and worst moments without much in the ways of compromise, and shows that people aren’t perfect nor do situations always work out glowing. It does glaze over one or two areas that probably could have had more explaining, but you cannot realize this during the film and it probably isn’t worth dwelling over.

I was captivated throughout the movie, though I could say that some scenes could have been cut a tad shorter or removed simply to save time. There was little point to some scenes other then to demonstrate a characters inner feeling(s) at that moment. In some cases this is deep and truly moving, others it just seems like they needed something to help separate scenes. Having said that, Prudence probably could have been left out of the movie as she didm’t really do anything for it. She felt more like a song que and a side-kick throughout the film and hence a filler character.

The music is completely comprised of songs from The Beatles, but re-sung by the characters in the movie. It contained stunning visual effects and a solid flow. Some of the more… outlandish scenes were a little strenuous on the eyes, and let me tell you that on a digital projector those scenes tended to be both stunning and blinding. Don’t take that the wrong way, they were amazing and original, but wow. If thats what acid trips look like, count me out. As the movie progresses, the visual effects and ques become more obvious to the watcher, and helps integrate the viewer into the characters lives. Helping them to see what the characters see. Mr. Kite’s musical scene was … amazing, terrifying and utterly mind-shattering all at once.

If you enjoy musicals, this is a complete must-see. If you don’t like musicals, screw it and watch it anyways. It’s a well directed film with impressive direction and plays out smoothly. It’s a simple movie about love and what people are willing to go through for it, and the hopeless romantic in me glowed from watching it.

Oh, and I will be picking up the soundtrack for this as soon as humanly possible.

8.3/10

I digress.

An Unfinished Life features Morgan Freeman as a maimed black cowboy, Jennifer Lopez as a woman in an abusive relationship, Robert Redford as Jennifer Lopez’s child’s hyper-bitter grandfather, and Josh Lucas as the local deputy.

The premise of the movie is as follows: Lopez is in an abusive relationship, and after yet another attack, her daughter convinces her mom that it’s time to go. They take off to the only place Lopez can think of: Her daughter’s dead dad’s dads place. This isn’t the first place I would think to go when trying to escape domestic abuse, but whatever. Lopez and gramps don’t get along, but they try for the sake of the (grand)daughter. There is bonding and realizations met, confrontations and animal rescue, and old cowboys. Oh and some guy gets a coffee glass to the face for being a dick.

The over-running theme to the movie was not the abuse as one would think, what with Lopez staring in that role. It actually centres around the Grandfather trying to get over himself, and bond with the family he has; mainly his grand-daughter (played very well by Becca Gardner).

What shocked me about this movie was how toned-down it was. Maybe I was just coming off an over-reaction high, but the movie stayed fairly believable throughout. The abuse-topic was low-key and believable (and as a result, Lopez and Lucas feel like minor characters), and the grandfather/granddaughter connection theme wasn’t overstated. Ironically the abuse topic tends to be more of a plot device to demonstrate that there are bigger things to hate in the world then your ex-daughter-in-law. Morgan Freeman played his usual role of wise black guy, and his sub-plot was also used as a bit of a plot device in the gramps/kid line.

What made the movie worth watching to me was the climax, if you wanted to call it that. I won’t give away what it actually was, but I will state that much like he rest of the movie it was very toned-down. I was expecting some big scene where everyone’s yelling and the camera’s all blurry, but that isn’t what happened. It lasted all of two minutes and left me moved on a deep level. It was stunning in its brutality and simplicity. It ended much like many scenes like that would actually play out. What I mean is … have you ever been in a situation and imagined the ending? It’s insane, contains ninjas, and enough explosions to ruin the atmosphere. When it comes to that situations resolution it’s very small, but still effects you on some base level.

That’s how this movie ended for me. It was a slow movie, but I managed to stay awake and interested, and it ran from 3-5 am. That’s gotta say something for the movie. It was believable (for the most part) and the ending was simple and honest. That’s why I really liked it. Plot devices aside (and this movie has a bunch, 9 at my last count) it has some honest and powerful scenes if you’re willing to actually watch the movie from beginning to end.

7/10

On the weekend I went out with Theresa and four others (sister, roomie, and the boyfriends) to one of the only things to do in North Bay. You really only get four options: Drink, have sex, go to the mall, or go to the movies. Well you can mix and match those, but that’s basically it. Regardless, we went to the movies.

This is where I saw Good Luck Chuck.

Now I’ve heard people saying that either it was good, or it sucked dirty, smelly anus. The bell curve for this movie and the people who watched it vs people who liked it leans towards people whom I tend to agree with. This was not a good movie. Having said that, this was not a bad movie either.

Dane Cook isn’t funny. That’s my opinion and I’m sticking with it. He’s not a bad actor as it turns out as he manages to play his on-screen persona well enough. You can pretty much repeat that last sentence for everyone in this film with the exception of Jessica Alba’s stoner brother, who fails at acting and acting like a stoner. All the characters were utterly 2-dimensional (even the breast-enhancement girls), so if you were looking for character development of any sort you will be sadly disappointed.

The premise was pretty cut n’ dry: Man is cursed never to be happy with a girl, man falls in love. Man tries to break the curse and scares girl. Montage to guy getting girl back, with a happy ending kiss. When you think about it, you can swap out the “guy gets cursed” with “guy is ugly,” “guy is shy,” and so on and so forth. The process is pretty much the same thing. If you were looking for an epic, intriguing, dynamic, or otherwise interesting plot you will be mad for spending your dimes.

Now I’m trying not to bash the movie completely so I’ll say that I went in expecting nothing, and I got a few laughs out of it. I could have done without seeing a man masturbating into a grapefruit, but you can’t win them all. The movie is fairly gag-heavy, which gets tiresome after the 90th time. Like I said though I did laugh at some points and I’m generally hard to impress with gags, so there’s something that shines in the movie.

I’d say acquire the movie temporarily to view it, and if you can avoid spending money on it, all the better.

4/10

Shutup.

Anyways, it stars a fuck-load of actors whom you can look up a list of yourself. I’m not going to list out all majillion of them. Suffice it to say they were actually on their A-game for this one.

I have not seen the original Ocean’s Eleven, but I am sure this movie is no disgrace to it. Filled with stunning acting, witty writing, and more class then I’m used to in a movie… this was a grand departure from what has rolled into and out of the theaters since its time. Noted exceptions of course, but I’m playing the averages.

Special notice must be given to Pitt and Clooney’s private scenes. I really don’t know how long it took them to get those down, but they all seemed so natural, it was almost creepy. They were done with a simple elegance and air of cool knowledge of their characters that just can’t not (yes, a double negative!) make you smile. I was never a big fan of Clooney, what with the only other role I’ve seen him is was Batman, which I won’t talk about here (or ever) left a bad taste in my mouth. I think I shall have to start giving him more of a chance.

Overall I was fully entertained, and I will go with the old “Better late then never” saying on this one. Had I never watched it, I would be doing myself a disservice.

8.4/10

Words fail me with this movie, but people say that pictures are worth a thousand words right?

Well lets see how well this works then:

1/10

I usually find it hard to sum up a movie in one word. This is not one of those times. A friends msn name said it best:

“Spiderman 3 = Disappointing”

I couldn’t have said it any better, but before I get into this lemme put things into context here. I love Spider-man. Truly I do. The idea that a man is doing the right thing even though his world falls apart around him is truly noble and something I wish to aspire two when push comes to shove. Having said that, I want to point out that I did my utter and complete best not to put this movie on a pedestal. I avoided trailers when I could, nor did I read up on it. I never visited the website nor read any threads on it.

I was unintentionally saddened by this movie.

Let the review begin.

The movie has a nice strong opening, with a colourful recap intro that would make Superman proud. following that, we see that Peter’s life is finally coming together in a neat little package. He has the love of his life, everyone loves Spider-Man, his job is going well, etc. etc. A very cute scene with he and M.J. on the top of the hill was directed so naturally, you’d think that they were in fact a very cute, and secretly dorky couple. Let’s face it folks, we’re all dorks when we are alone with our significant other. This is about when things start to go down hill. The meteor landing was… unrealistic to say the very least, though the entrance of the symbiont was, technologically-standing, neat.

The movie quickly spirals into a typical fallen-hero rut that it doesn’t even bother to excel at nor try and pull itself out of until the last ten seconds, which admittedly was a wonderfully directed last scene. Simple and elegant, much like the movies intro.

The movie really suffers at the idea of having multiple enemies, inaccurate casting, and some of the most stereotypical, out of the box plot devices known to man. I said it when I first found out, and I said it during the movie, and I’m saying it now: Topher Grace, as lovable as he is, was the poorest choice for Eddie Brock I have ever known. I’m not saying he is a bad actor, far from in fact. What I am saying is that Eddie Brock was a big man. 300 pounds of football player sort of big. Topher seems to run up 150 pounds if you put led weights in his shoes.

On a more joyful note, Rosemarry Harris returns as Aunt May, and easily proves that casting people can yield the perfect matches if you just put in some effort. This woman is stunning through out the entire movie and easily holds every scene that she graces together with amazing skill and naturalness that only William Dafoe could hold a candle to through all the movies.

Bruce Campbell makes an appearance within the failing movie, and manages to prove that a) he doesn’t get enough credit because, b) he is a fantastic actor that manages to salvage what would have otherwise been a very drab emotional ass-kicking for the young Parker.

I’m not going to get into the utterly ridiculous middle of the movie where you see Toby strutting down the street, giving girls the guns, and sporting his new emo hair and (I’m not kidding now) eye-liner. It was funny for the first 5 seconds. I didn’t need 5 minutes of that. The dance was also… something else. It was at this point that I felt the movie was basically strapping its skis on for the shark-jumping.

The movies climax, though visually stunning, is pretty much all presentation and no body. Everything happens so fast that you don’t get to appreciate what is going on, and as such, it has an unfinished feel to it all. I also want to point out that Venom, easily the best Spider-man villain within the Spider-man universe, is totally screwed out of what really should have been an entire movie dedicated to him. instead you get roughly 25 minutes of Topher-Venom.

Every fight within this movie, now that I think about it, shared that unfinished feel. The only exception is the Harry-Parker fight which was pretty brutal and on some level, heart-wrenching to watch. Having said that, it still managed to ruin it with some very over-the-top typical banter that just made me cringe in near-physical pain.

I could go on with this, but I’m going to sum it up:

Pros:

• Strong intro and ending.
• Stunning visual effects
• Musical score didn’t suck
• Returning cast, for the most part, maintained their roles well (Harris, Campbell, Church, Simmons)

Cons:

• Hyper-typical fallen-hero storyline, complete with cocky, ass-kicked, older/wiser hero scenario
• Plot devices used like it was going out of style
• Jumpy and/or unfinished feeling scenes and scene transitions
• Far too much going on at once.
• Ending had a”cram everything you can in” feeling.
• Corny lines uttered in a super hero movie. Possibly the most corny to date.

Was it a bad movie? No.
Was it a good movie? No.

End score: 4.5/10

What happens when you take every SuperCop movie, combine it with fantastic writing and British humour so dry, you could use it as a combustible fuel? You get Hot Fuzz. I’m still new at this movie review thing, so I’m going to try to do this as best I can.
This movie is for all intents and purposes, fantastic. It manages to take skits from every block-busting action movie (Bad Boys 2, Point Break, Aliens, etc etc) while still retaining its own identity, brought about by brilliant writing.

The story, briefly , is that Sergeant Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) is a super cop, who is outshining the rest of the force. As a result, the higher-ups whisk him off to Somerset, a village that has won the “Perfect Village” Award I don’t know how many times. Nicholas starts going mad until a series of “accidents” have him struck paranoid. The movie then turns into a whodunit for at least an hour as he and his partner Danny Butterman (Nick Frost) try and figure out what is really happening. The end of the movie turns out to be a non-stop action ride, filled with so many near over-the-top items that it just borders on ludicrous but never quite crossing the line.

I was happily enamored with the movie the entire way through, and never actually became tired with it. I’ve seen the movie twice (once with Theresa and again with my brother and his ladyfolk), and I still found it funny the second time through. I could even argue that I appreciated the movie more the second time, as I got to catch all the jokes that flew past me the first time. I kid you not when I say there is in some instances, 10 jokes under the span of a minute, and if you miss one and try and think about it you will undoubtedly miss the rest that proceeded it.

Having said all that, do not see this movie if you are expecting a movie that is all action and takes itself serious. Don’t get me wrong, it does take itself seriously, but with so many jokes thrown in that it doesn’t give off the feel. Do not see this movie if you are a fan of cheap laughs and/or gags. Hot Fuzz is British humour right down to its Limey bones, and can only be appreciated as such.

If you enjoy dry, dark, sarcastic humour. If you like ridiculous fight scenes in model villages (another movie spoofing), Gun-toting primary school teachers, and watching an old woman get kicked in the face by Simon Pegg (truly this is much, MUCH funnier then it sounds). And if and only if you like listening to old men that you cannot in all honesty understand until you’ve watched the movie twice, despite everything they are saying is rude and humourous, should you watch this movie.

Well okay, if you also enjoy a solid storyline that actually keeps you guessing, excellent locational shooting, a surprisingly good musical score, and perfect role casting, then you may want to take a gander at the movie as well.

Final score: 8/10