That said, the new Professor Layton came with a veritable feast of new mini-games, new puzzles, and one of the best story-lines in a game I’ve played in the last while. As a result, the newest addition to the series (Professor Layton and the Unwound Future) ends up being the best of the series (thus far).

Synopsis

The Unwound Future takes place after the events from the Diabolical Box. Layton and Luke have been invited, somewhat at random, to a scientific demonstration of an apparent time-machine. Things go south (as all preludes in this series do), and days later you get a letter from Luke that has a posting date from 10 years in the future. Now since Layton has conquered ghosts, missing peoples, phantom trains, and imaginary clockwork people, solving a temporal mystery just seems the next logical step.

Luke and Layton follow the instructions, and end up at a mysterious clock shop (surprise, surprise). When brought into the back of the shop, a giant clock awaits them. This is, apparently, a time machine, and before they can think it through, the shop owner throws the switch and Luke and Layton are thrown into the future. Here they notice the changes (and similarities) between them. Eventually they run into Future Luke, and things just get weirder.

As the story unfolds, you find out that the scientist from the demonstration and Layton have some shared past. Namely, they went to the same school, and happened to be in love with the same girl: Claire. The scientist (Dimitri, in case you’re wondering) at first seems to be out to get Layton due to Layton’s winning the affections of Claire. Things, though, are not what they seem. As the story progresses, things get well messed up, and it really does take right up to the 11th hour for everything to come to light.

It ends with, in my opinion, one of the saddest endings I have ever witnessed on the DS. Possibly one of the saddest endings on any Nintendo title that I’ve played. Things are tied up well, if not nicely, and you’re not really left with any questions other than ‘WHY DID THEY JUST DO THAT TO ME?” I was honestly more upset than I thought possible, given the game I was playing. I didn’t sob or anything, but it did move me.

Mechanics

The core mechanics of the game have been left pretty much unchanged. New faces, new places, but the environmental stuff hasn’t moved on much. It doesn’t really need to, either. They got it right the first time, so there’s not much of a need to change it. Tap everywhere to find puzzles and/or hint coins. Solve said puzzles with or without the help of said hint coins. Move on.

The mini-games have changed again. You now get a toy car game, a parrot-guiding game, and the sticker-book game. The toy car game is similar to the hamster game from the last Professor Layon, with a few obvious changes (water, comes to mind). The sticker-book game is fun because you have to put the correct stickers in the correct spots on the page. When this is done, you get to read the whole story. It’s a bit juvenile, but entertaining.

Then there is the parrot game. I hate the parrot game. I hate it more than slider puzzles, and I really hate slider puzzles. The idea is to draw ropes from peg to peg in order to help the parrot (who can only seem to hop short distances) get to end flag before the timer runs down. I’m just going to say right now: I cheated. I don’t even feel bad about it. Know why? because I spent hours and hours trying to legitimately figure the damned parrot puzzles out, and to no avail. Well screw that noise, I have better things to do (shutup I do so) than to run the same parrot simulation over and over and over and over and over and motherfucking over.

The Highs

The laytest installment (see what I did there?) comes with a heaping dose of wonderfully animated cut-scenes, which are pretty much par for the course by this point. The music is wonderful (the alteration of the main/professors theme is sublime) and as goes well with both the puzzles and the story points. Some new items have been added to the score selection, though the puzzle theme remains just as ponderous as it always was.

A special shout-out has to be made here for the grace in which the Professor’s history is handled. While I enjoyed the previous two stories for being entertaining, the Unwound Future is the first in the series that actually made me care about any of the characters. Even Luke, who in many cases I find to be grating, was given a lot more … Luke-ness. That’s a good thing, surprisingly. They really went the extra mile to make the characters mean something more to you than simple puzzle gods, and it shows.

The Lows

Slider puzzles make a shining return in the latest installment, which of course means that I stared at the DS’ screens for a while, scowling in hate until my fail-safe method of random sliding paid off. On top of that, the writers really went out of their way to include more utterly ambiguous riddles. I’m talking about the kind of riddles that legitimately have more than one answer (which makes them shit riddles to begin with) but will only accept whatever cryptic answer they keep locked up in their brain-can. Also, there were a small number of puzzles that looked eerily familiar to past Professor Layton puzzles. I worry that they may be running out of puzzles for the series. Hopefully not.

I also have to say that one of the lows was the feeling of utter depression I got upon finishing the game. I could spoil the ending for you (though I will not) and ruin your day, but suffice it to say that it really struck a chord for me. The only thing that makes a depressing ending worse though, is an unnecessarily depressing ending. They didn’t need to do what they did,  but I guess they felt that the best ending to a light-hearted puzzle game would be to break everyones heart. Repeatedly.

Woe upon the parents who buy this game for their 11 year old daughter, only to have her run into their room, sobbing uncontrollably.

Overall

A great addition to the Professor Layton series, and what will probably go down as my favorite. That is of course until this comes out, and I am forced to purchase a 3DS just to play it.

Regardless, it’s a great title, if not a bit depressing at the end, and I highly recommend it to anyone who is a fan of the series. I would suggest picking up the previous two if you’re new to the series because it will allow you to appreciate Unwound Future so much more.

9/10

Yeah, I didn’t really stand a chance.

Synopsis

So the story of Professor Layon and the Diabolical Box starts off pretty much where we ended last time. I assume no more than a month has passed between stories. This isn’t important, I’m just giving context here.

Anyways, the Professor and Luke are sent a message from one of the Professors old friends. Said letter contains the friend’s ramblings about getting his hands on something called the Elysian Box. This box is said to kill any person who opens it. Of course the friend opened said box, and no one has heard from him since.

The Professor and Luke go to investigate, where the find their friend prone on the ground. After some additional investigation, the Professor and Luke make for an elaborate train that their old friend had a ticket to. The story gets decidedly more messed up from that point on.

Oh and of course you are solving puzzles pretty much from the get go.

Mechanics

Very little has changed, in terms of basic game mechanics. You still tap your way around the map looking for hidden Hint Coins (a currency used to buy hints to puzzles that have you flummoxed) and hidden puzzles. You have to solve puzzles to progress throughout the story, and there are points when you need to solve a certain amount of puzzles in order to progress.

There are three mini-games built in which I shall quickly go over:

• Broken Camera: Within the story you are given the task of repairing a camera. This involves finding the pieces, and then assembling them all so that everything fits within the frame of the camera. This isn’t as hard as you’d think so long as you look at it practically. The flash goes in the flash area, the plunger goes in the plunger area, and the lens goes in the lens area.Once you have built the camera, you can take photos of certain areas and have a most fun/infuriating time spotting the three differences between them. Succeeding in this usually results in being able to find yourself a hidden puzzle.
• Fat Hamster: You are given the task of getting a rather obnoxious and impressively obese hamster into shape. You are given a selection of hamster toys throughout the story which you can use to make the hamster run to. Getting him to run to enough things, lowers his weight. When you get him to a rank of 0 (in shape) he returns the favor by obnoxiously pointing out the location of hidden coins on the screens your traverse.
• Magic Tea Set: The magic tea set is given to you by an old woman after completing a set of puzzles from her. The idea of the tea set is to create 12 teas using a variety of ingredients that you pick up along your travels. But what is the point of making tea if not to share them with people?This comes to the second part of the game: helping others. Throughout the game, you will come across people who appear to be sweating. Approaching them at this point will give you a dialogue where you have to give them a tea that will meet their requirements. This can be a total pain in the ass if you screw up, because you’ll have to go back and forth to that screen until they’re sweating again so that you can have another shot.

Other than that, the game plays out pretty much identically as the previous installment. The puzzles will ask you to circle, draw lines, or input a number. Or slide things. Lets not forget the God-forsaken slider puzzles. There are enough of those to make you hate your life, I can assure you.

Oh, and yes, there are secret doors in the Bonus puzzle rooms. No I have not opened any because my girlfriend happened to save over my completed game from the first game. That means no code which means no secret doors for me. I know what’s behind them, but I’m not telling.

Words from the Wise

There isn’t really too much I can give in terms of advice. I’m not going to answer any riddles here, so if you’re looking for those, you’ll have to try somewhere else. Having said that, here are some things you can do to make your life a little easier.

• Tap everywhere. You never know where puzzles or hint coins are located. The hamster won’t show up every time, so be thorough. Beyond that, the hamster won’t point out puzzles, so you’ll have to scrounge for those yourself.
• Think hard before you answer. I can’t tell you how many times I lost points because I was impulsive with my answer. Just take a beat and think about your answer before you click that submit button.
• Don’t be afraid to use hint coins. They’re there for a reason. Sure you may want to man through it and not use any, but that doesn’t make your awesome, it wastes your time on stupid puzzles that could be solved much quicker if you just took a hint.
• Don’t feel bad about cheating. I did it, and I don’t feel bad. There are some puzzles that will blow your mind way open, and as such it will simply be beyond you to answer them. I cheated on most of the sliding puzzles, and one or two math ones. I don’t feel bad because after putting in 1000+ moves into each slider puzzle, I decided to bow out and let the Internet guide me. As for the math questions? Well when you have to make a Quadratic Equation just to figure something out? Go fuck yourself. I signed up for riddles, not math.

Overall

The writing, voice acting, and overall story was fantastically. The puzzles were, overall, enjoyable and gave my brain a workout. Having said that, slider puzzles and complex math questions can all go die in a fire. I’m aware that they’re concepts and cannot die in a physical fire. I can still wish for the concepts to die in a conceptual fire. Other than those, the rest of the puzzles were pretty solid.

The music was well done. Hell I’d go so far as to say that the music in this one was far better than the last game. The artwork was top notch, and it translated perfectly into the videos. Even the CG used in the videos was some of the best I’ve seen when blending CG and animation.

The story was odd, border-line cryptic, and had all the little details that really made the story come together. If you can take the extra time to talk to everyone in the game, you’ll get a much better understanding of what’s going on and gain a much better understanding of the depth to which the writers actually went.

All in all, it’s an enjoy able game and it’s a good way to kill 30 hours of time.

8/10

So when I found out about Time Hollow, I thought I’d give it the old college try, because along with Time Travel, I’m also a fan adventure/mystery games. You can refer to my gushing over Phoenix Wright and Apollo Justice for examples therein.

Now I thought Time Hollow was going to be a fairly straight-forward mystery finder.

Yah, sometimes I’m just stupid like that.

Synopsis

The basic rundown of Time Hollow is this: You have a magic pen that allows you to make holes in time so that you can change things. That’s pretty much it. Oh, and some guy that you know nothing about is trying to eliminate your family for reasons you don’t really understand. Even when you do find out, it doesn’t make all that much sense.

To elaborate a little more, your character, Ethan Kairos is charged with correcting all of the weird time-hiccups that suddenly start appearing around you. This includes the removal of your parents, stopping a shockingly steep number of murders, and generally trying to make things the way they were before.

This sounds just as confusing as you think it’s going to be.

Mechanics

Time Hollow is a game that takes full advantage of the fact that you have a stylus, and punishes anyone who tries to use the controllers buttons for anything more than the occasional support. As you are required to search for things on the screen, you have to tap around like a monkey having a stroke, hoping against hope that you’ll find the one little thing that you needed to push the story forward.

You also use your stylus to make the actual holes in time, which sadly can only be opened at certain plot points. I was really hoping I’d be able to open them at any time and try my hand at playing God, but I guess there’s only so much you can expect from a DS game.

Other than the extreme pen-use, the game plays out pretty much like a novel. Other than finding the evidence/talking to people/wandering aimlessly, there isn’t much to the game. You have a town map of sorts, which you use to get around town, and your flashbacks menu.

Now the flashbacks are neat, because they show you what has changed since time has been messed up. You’ll need to review and confirm your flashbacks in order to progress through some of the story. Now you’d think this would be interesting, but really it’s just an annoying step that serves only to slow you down. Cool concept, bad execution.

What is a nice bonus is that after you get through the game the first time, you can play through again but with your previous knowledge in tact. This means that you can actually make more changes to those around you that make for a better ending the second time around. I have a soft spot for any game that allows me to play through again with added bonuses.

I’m a sucker like that.

Words from the Wise

Now having plowed through this game in a reasonable time, I feel it is my duty to disclose to you some very important information. There are only three things going on this list, but they are crucially important.

• Time Hollow is not for kids. I thought it was going to be, but people are kidnapped and brutally murdered throughout the game. It’s actually pretty dark, so keep that in mind.
• Read everything. Seriously, don’t skim over the text in this game because when you think you know what you have to do, there is a very solid chance that in fact you are not supposed to do that at all. There were a couple times that I skipped over the text, and ended up having to wander around the different areas of the game until something happened.
• At the start of the game, you will find out that “Koris very existence is what’s different.” At this point you have to go back to the school, and outside of the classroom on the greenboard is a white note. You need to read this note in order to progress through the story. Honestly it took me a good 40 minutes of wandering around until I found that stupid piece of paper. I’m not spoiling the game when I give you this tip, I’m saving you a lot of frustration.

Overall

I actually enjoyed the Time Hollow story, though the process of getting through the story was linear, and having to jump through every hoop was quite a chore.

To that end, I have to give honourable mentions to the music writers and graphic artists hired. Way to go guys, you made this game that much more enjoyable. The music was well done and amazingly creepy, and that opening theme song? Fabulous. As for the art: very well done. The art featured in Time Hollow is some of the best background art I’ve ever seen on the DS. Very polished and really helped make the story stronger.

It was a fun game while it lasted, though it was more like a short novel then a real game. Your participation is about as low as you can get in a game with it still remaining a game. You could beat it in an afternoon, so keep that in mind if you’re going to be on a bus or plane or train somewhere.

6.5/10

When it was originally described to me first one eyebrow was raised, and then the other. Then my face had no where to go, and so my eyebrows fluctuated back and forth. I eventually got my hands on it, and was actually surprised.

Turns out it didn’t suck!

Synopsis

You’re a spoiled Princess (Elise) with romantic notions of having an adventurer boyfriend.

Yes, this is actually a key story element. In fact, it is the catalyst for the whole damned story.

Anyways, you decide to whine to your father until he throws a huge ball and invites all of the adventurers and blue blood to the ball. There she falls for an adventurer who she thinks is the bomb digity. A humorous scene unfolds where they talk and fall madly in love, only to end up being a day dream. The reality is that the adventurer wants nothing to do with your spoiled, prissy butt, and mentions that you have no idea what it’s like out in the real world.

He then takes off, and the Princess’s mind is blown completely. So completely that she decides that she’s going to cut her hair, put on some stylish outside clothing, and go off to become an adventurer herself. The King, thinking that his daughter will surely be killed, hires the lands greatest hero, Nero. Nero’s job is to create quests around the Princess to give her the illusion that she’s adventuring. Actors are hired, and the hilarity begins.

That is until an actual enemy starts to watch the Princess, worried that she could be a threat.

Mechanics

My World, My Way have three major sections:

• The first is the over-all world map, which is sectioned off into 4 quadrants. You can only visit one at a time.
• The second is a grid system of land-tiles for each town/area. There are a collection of areas within each quadrant. Each land tile has a set amount of enemy encounters, and have their own attributes (plains vs forest vs farm field etc.).
• The third are dungeons, which are located within certain areas. The dungeons are a 3rd person 3/4 view of the Princess, and you navigate the hallways fighting monsters that you come across.

The quests work in one of two ways. Either you are collecting things (which can be found either in dungeons or by searching the land-tiles), or you are killing things (in either dungeons or land-tiles). The result is that you get a gate key or crest (or both) and away you go to the next area. Very straight-forward, and after the first few times of doing it, very boring. There are side quests which usually involve you killing a million of a certain enemy to find an item to return. The rewards are usually worth it though.

Where the game actually starts to show some true originality (other than the solid script and light humor) is in the stats available to the player:

• Speed: How fast you are (what order you will fight in battle… most of the time), and how often your attacks will hit.
• Will: How strong your magical attacks are, and how strong your magical defense is.
• Strength: How strong your attack is.
• Constitution: How high your defense is.
• HP: Your health. If this hits zero, you’re dead. Actually, not dead, but you take a penalty; half of your Money, or half of your Experience earned that day. Refresh your health by sleeping or by using a potion / elixir.
• MP: Your magic. You use these to cast magic. Refresh your magic by sleeping at an in, or consuming a magic potion.
• PP: Your Pout Points. Now this is an interesting addition. Being a spoiled princess, you can pout to get what you want. This translates into the actual world. You can use your pout points to change the terrain, make enemies weaker, find more items, gain more experience, and more. The only way to refill your pout points is to sleep at an inn. Trust me when I say that they are by far the most useful thing you can have.

Now you gain stats naturally through leveling, but unlike most games, the stat increases from your levels are minimal at best. You get most of your upgrades by eating foods at the local Inn. You will end up spending a good amount of coin on food. You won’t get far without it.

Words from the Wise

It took me a good while to play through this game (44 hours)  and so I think I am qualified to give advice on how to get through this game faster than I did.

Upgrade your stats: I cannot enforce this one enough. Upgrading your stats will make your life easier all around. concentrate on strength and defense at the start, later on add to your wisdom and speed. Speed only needs to be around 100 by the end of the game, so it’s not nearly as important as the others. everything else should be at least 130 by the time you get to the final battle. To make your life easier, I’d even try to get your strength and Will to around 150. Failing that, use the Might spell.

Upgrade your Pout Points: You will use these more often than you think, and it’s in your best interests to make sure you get this number high. I had over 300 by the end fight, which is all I ended up needing.

Fight every battle: On the tile maps, fight in every square. If you can pout for more experience and money, do it. It speeds everything up and makes fighting more worth it. I was level 69 when I got to the final map, that was 10 under the recommended. On that map, you’ll feel it. I ended up grinding my character to level 86 just to have a chance in the final fight.

Make enemies harder in dungeons: You are more likely to fight singular enemies in dungeons, and they are naturally a little higher in level than those above ground. When you are trying to upgrade your mimic buddy stronger parts, this is the best way to do it. On top of that, you get more experience and money for your effort.

Do all the side quests: You’ll get better loot and spells from the side-quests than you ever will from simply fighting through the map (the final dungeon is an exception).

Pay attention to the end of battles: You’ll end up getting a partner that can mimic enemies. The menu shows up at the end of battles randomly, and if you are blindly mashing the A button (like I was) you end up taking body parts that you really didn’t want.

Overall

It’s not as girly as you’d think. Other than being about a spoiled princess and having armor available to wear called “Princess Boots” and the like, it’s not all that girl-driven. The box art is more girl-oriented than the rest of the game.

The music was solid, the artwork was fantastic (and reminded me a lot of Professor Layton), and the graphics were about as good as you would expect for a DS. Good pixel art, and fairly decent 3D work.

As for the fun factor,  My World, My Way is fun for the first three quarters. When you get into the final area the story gets much lighter, and it feels more like a grind-fest. Hell the final battle couldn’t be any more anti-climactic if it tried. Considering how difficult that final battle was, I was a little shocked that I actually had to walk out of the dungeon myself. I was expecting a cut scene or something. When you get the final gate key, you go home, have a 5 minute conversation, and then the credits roll.

My World, My Way has absolutely no re-play value. It’ll eat away your time when you play through it the first time, but that’s about it. The writing is solid, and the humor is light, but enjoyable. You’ll smile through most of the dialogue, and you’ll even enjoy the short but sweet ending.

If you’re forced to grind for 8 hours in the final area like I was, the game will lose much of its appeal, and you’ll be wishing a painful death on the developers of the game. That’s partially my fault though. I was trying to fly through the game, and I was hoisted by my own petard.

Worth playing through once, but I expect to see a lot of used copies of this game sitting in the shelf at your local Gamestop.

6/10

I used to stay as far away from platformers as I could, given that my ability in them scored somewhere in the negatives. Every time I would try one, I’d get about 4 levels in, and then start to hate myself. It’s really not a pretty sight. Give me turn-based games and experiences points, that’s what I say!

Of course to every rule there is an exception, and Super Princess Peach is, shockingly, one of those exceptions.

Synopsis

Like all Super Mario games (and all Mario game spin-offs) the story is fairly straight-forward. Bowser has opted this time to capture Mario and Luigi in lieu of the Princess. I can only assume that he did this so that he could actually have a chance at ruling over the LSD-enabling countryside. Of course, Peach decides to step up and prove that breasts are no reason not to kick the shit out of Bowser.

Of course you have to go around correcting the entire countryside first. ‘Cause you know, that’s just how these games roll.

The game operates on the basic level-trolling principles that have worked so well in the previous incarnations, with a couple twists. On top of going through all 48 levels (40, excluding boss fights) you can also find toads, who are lost in the worlds. You can also find mini-games, music notes (which allow you to listen to songs in the game menu), and spend your money in The Shop.

That’s right, there’s only one shop. Dude much be loaded.

Mechanics

Super Princess Peach introduces a couple unique aspects to the platform-genre that really tickle my fancy. Peach, given that she is a princess, is genetically more robust than her Italian pipe-cleaner. Here’s a quick run-down of her genetic enhancements:

• Happiness: Peach gets so damned happy that she starts to float in a cyclone. An added benefit is that you can actually fly with this ability, so if you’re like me and prone to cliff jumping, you can save your ass. There are limitations to this ability such as active flying eats away at your “Flow” – Magic, to the rest of the world – and there are certain points where you will be unable to fly, forcing you to rethink your strategy.
• Sadness: Peach defies all known physical facts, and starts crying our geysers from her eyes. If you’ve ever seen a kids anime where a girl cries waterfalls, you know what this looks like. Added perks to this mode are running like a bat out of hell, and watering plants into massive vine-trees of doom. There are points in the game that require you to use this ability, and quickly.
• Anger: Channeling all those times that Peach’s father (does she even have parents?) never gave her that jewel-encrusted pony, Peach turns into the Human Tourch. She walks slowly, stomps the ground whenever she jumps (good for knocking everyone on their ass), and nothing can touch you. Stomping, like flying, eats up more magic when used. Also, fire and wood don’t mix.
• Joy: Not to be mistaken for happiness, Joy heals the Princess, so long as she doesn’t get assauted by any enemies. This mode simply transforms magic into health. Good when you are in dire need of life. This mode is automatically turned off when enemies hit you, but not when you pick up/consume them.

These abilities add to the game by providing obvious puzzle elements (fire can light lanterns, water make plants grow, wind makes smoke dissipate, etc. etc.), as well as giving the user a couple more options in dealing with situations.

I mentioned earlier the term “Flow”. Flow is, as previously stated, your magic bar. Your magical umberella can consume enemies to refill your magic bar, or you can find gems to do the same thing. This allows you to decide whether to bathe in the blood of your enemies, or just flat out consume them wholly. Morbid when you really sti and think about it.

Oh yes, did I mention you have a magical umberella? Yes apparently a little boy was transformed into a magical umberella, and through certain happenstances, landed in the hands of Princes Peach. Peach uses this umberella for a variety of things including, but not limited to: Bashing enemies, consuming enemies, floating in the air, coasting in water, and throwing things around. She really has no regard for the poor umberella, which leads me to think that Princess Peach strongly believes in the caste system.

Bitch.

Overall

Overall, it’s actually a pretty solid play through. The nice/terrible part is that after you’ve beat the game the first time through, you are given 3 new levels (per section, so 24 more levels) that you can access by defeating all of the bosses, excluding Bowser, a second time. It doesn’t matter if you’ve beaten them 100 times, once you’ve defeated Bowser, you have to go back and fight the other bosses to unlock the additional levels. In order to find everything in the game (music notes, mini games, etc) you have to play all of the original levels twice (once before and after pre-game) as well as the 24 new levels. If you add it all up, that’s a total of 119 levels of play. That’s a lot of game play for a DS game.

I mostly enjoyed this game, though I could go my entire gaming life without ever having to do another underwater mario level. I hate those levels simply because you drift, and gernally this means you drift into things that want to kill you. Also, you can’t use your abilities while under water. Keep that in mind.

It’s not overly difficult, and the learning curve is basically spelled out for you. Just take it one level at a time, and upgrade as you go along. The more Flow you have, the better off you’ll be. Other than that, just enjoy the game for what it is: A cheerful, straight-forward platforming game. No mind-bending puzzles, no cryptic under/overtones, just a smiling peach beating the hell out of the native population. A game that you can turn on, play through a 4 minute level, and then turn off. Lends itself heavily towards small bursts rather than long-haul style game play.

Cute, straight-forward, and with enough originality to give it some flare.

7/10

Don’t even get me started on the side-quest goldmine that it was. It had it’s own “Internet” that came with spam, conspiracy theories, and hackable government systems. It had a solid story line, an excellent battle system, and some decent (for the time) graphics.

Front Mission DS (which apparently is a re-release of the original) has none of these things. Well okay, not none per say, but far less than my first experience. It did manage to be just as frustrating though, so that’s something.

So when I found out that Front Mission was coming out for the DS, I nearly wet myself in anticipation. As previously stated, I had good experiences with the series, so I was all hot and bothered over the idea of a portable version that could provide me hours of entertainment on my – until recently – dormant DS. After finally playing through it, I think I can actually give an unbiased review of the game.

Well, probably can in any case.

Synopsis

Piloting Mechs – Wanzers in the Front Mission universe – the goal of the game is to work your way through increasingly difficult battles by strategically killing everything without dying. It sounds far more simple than it is.

Like every Front Mission I’ve played (3, 4, and now this version) there are two story lines in Front Mission DS. The first is for “new” players, and you are in control of one Royd Clive. Long story short, he becomes the leader of a band of mercs who work for one of two waring factions (the O.C.U.). As the game progresses, Royd realizes that past events are not all they’ve added up to be, and eventually goes on a vendetta to get his answers.

He’s a little bit of a whiner, and I had serious troubles connecting to him. The whole time it feels like he needs a good slap and to grow a pair. Yes, I’m aware that he’s part of an elite killing squad of mercs, working for the army. You can still be a sissy when you have a gun.

Anyways, his claims are verified, and you then have the uphill battle of getting to the finale in order to fight the hidden evil forces. Not that you really have to guess to hard at who’s pulling strings; the game practically forces it into your brain.

Now the second story arc, that’s a different story (see what I did there?). In this instance you play the roll of Black Ops. Seargent Kevin Greenfield. After an unfortunate pang of puppy-dog love, he’s discharged from his position, and is sent into the field as part of the U.C.S. Scout Team. As the story works its way forward, you are given additional characters – cannon fodder, as I called them – to bolster your ranks. Unlike the first story, where everyone is trying to win the spotlight, the second scenario focuses directly on Kevin, and everyone else just plays a part to support him. He ends up trying to bring down a corrupt government, only to fail and be tried for treason. That’s not the end of the story, but I’ll leave it there for now.

Now this is a man I can pretend to be! He’s got character, he’s got soul, he gets some good, solid revenge in his story arc. He even loses the woman he loves (more than once). This story grabbed my by the neck and forced me to play through it, which hurt because the second story is for “advanced” players.

Basically, “advanced” players is a fancy way of saying “insane odds” and “completely irrationally difficult.” You get half as many units, and you fight twice as many. All. The. Time. One map I played had 4 of my men against no less that 16 or 17 enemy units. That requires some top-notch organization let me tell you.

Mechanics

This section could get terribly long, should I let myself ramble. I’ll try and keep my rantings to a minimum here, okay?

The stylus is useless. You can use it, but much like one can stick ones hand into an operating blender it brings forth the old adage: Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

So there’s no Internet in this version. Not something I’m terribly sad about, but the whole Net thing really added another layer to the overall story. It allowed the user to go out and find so many more tidbits of information that you could live without, but made sweeter by knowing.

The battle mechanics are far simpler than those of later versions. You don’t need to worry about the direction you’re facing, and hiding behind buildings does not provide additional cover. All cover is calculated on your dodging ability, and the tile your unit is on. Part of me loved this, and a part of me really missed it. They’ve also dropped many of the skills that you can acquire throughout the game, as well as who can learn what skill. Not everyone can actually be an effective killing machine (they make for good repair drones though).

The battles take just as long as they always did – minimum of 15 minutes, maximum of 1.5 hours – and are just as infuriating as they always were. It’s not uncommon to lose a battle without knowing why or how, but I’ve managed to distill it down to three possible reasons:

1. Your main character(s) died. Everyone else can eject just fine, but God help you should your main character have to try and eject.
2. You ran out of time. A few of the missions require you to do something along the lines of “Kill X by Y.” very straightforward.
3. Someone got away/got to a point they shouldn’t have.  A few of the missions require you to stop people from getting to certain points on the map. These are the hardest in my opinion.

The weapons system has been toned down as well as altered for this instance of the series. Rifles don’t shoot over long distances, making them effectively pointless. Shotguns only fire one shot (instead of, you know, a spread) making them almost useless. Their saving grace is that the have a 98% hit rating. Rockets can win an entire scenario if you upgrade them enough. Machine guns can win an entire scenario of you upgrade them enough. Melee weapons are in shockingly short supply.

On top of that, you don’t upgrade a proficiency in “shotgun” or “machine gun” anymore. Now you just get points in “melee” or “short.” This made the diversifying player in me weep. You no longer need specialist units; set everyone up with the exact same rig and go to town. It’s really a bit of a let down.

The virtual reality simulator doesn’t exist in the DS version, which makes upgrading your guys outside of battle an extreme chore. You’re stuck fighting in the arena, which doesn’t net you nearly enough experience to warrant it’s existence. The only reason the arena can possibly exist is because you can bet money on your pilot and win some cash. This is, sadly, a requirement for the first story. Upgrading 14 Wanzers gets bloody expensive, and you really do need to keep your parts up to snuff.

They game is not without some hope though; there are hidden missions (three to each scenario) that are actually somewhat difficult to find. They are usually the most challenging levels in the entire scenario, and usually the ones with the best payout. If you can find and complete them, you are rewarded with special Wanzer bodies that tend to be well worth the effort. If nothing else you get cash and experience for doing them.

Oh, and last but probably not least, after you defeat a scenario you can play through it again on a harder difficulty. Why would you do this? Other than bragging rights – if anybody listened – you get to start off with all of your characters having the same abilities as before. This means you can basically walk through three quarters of the game becoming even more powerful. There is also a secret mission (per scenario, I think) that you cannot access until your second play through. You can play through again and again, until you hit x10 difficulty, but why anyone would do that to themselves I have no idea. The option is there though.

Word from the Wise

I’m adding a special section here to give a couple tips to people who have decided to try their hand at Front Mission.

Choose a fighting style, and stick to it. I cannot stress this enough. You like rockets? Use them all the time and get your Long range leveled up. Eventually most of your units will learn Duel, which allows you to target body parts. Aim for the body for quick kills. Going short? give everyone machine guns and learn Speed and Duel. Those together can take down almost anything in one go.

Don’t use rifles, they’re not worth the money. It uses the “short” skill tree, but only fires one shot. I found things worked much better with a machine gun. More chances to hit, and they add up. If you simply must use a one shot weapon, wait for the shotgun; with a 98% hit ratio, it’s in your best interests to look them up.

Keep repair stuff on you. The computer has a knack for ganging up on your people, most of the time when they should be attacking others. Use this to your advantage, and keep repairing your cannon fodder for as long as you can. The longer they last, the longer your other units can go unimpeded.

Gang up on targets. Until your units learn how to kill something in one go, try and gang up effectively on units. If you can, pin them in so they’re sitting ducks. I tried to send my weaker units in packs so they could grind some experience while my one-shotters made quick work of everyone else.

Use the special Wanzers. Pick one of your pilots, and dump them into the special Wanzer models. You get most of them for completing secret missions (go look them up), and when used properly, they become killing machines. Enemies will speak shell-shocked stories to their pillows about the giant Wanzer that ripped them appart without showing a dent. They usually get picked on, so when you can make sure you have a repair buddy with them. Legends don’t make themselves you know.

Overall

It took me 20 hours to beat the first story. This was because of the upgrade/money requirements, and really took a chunk out of the whole “fun” aspect to it. It turned into grinding way too quickly. The second story was far more enjoyable and I worked through it in around 9 hours. I’m even tempted to play through the second story again.

It’s not as complex, diverse, or rewarding as other items in the series, but it did its job without too much complaint.

7/10

Self-deprecating, machinations, and fruition, all in two sentences. I think my brain is having some kind of vocabulistic everything-must-go sale. Of course then I go ahead and say something like vocabulistic, and all of my grammar street cred get’s shot to hell.

Anyways! Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney! Review! Commence!

So what is it about playing a lawyer on a DS that makes it so much damn fun? Is it the intrigue? Is it the ripping apart of testimony? Is it the sharp suits and crisp air of determination? No. Though very good things all of those, to most it is probably the thrill one gets when you bust out a solid “Objection!” when you know the witness is a lying sack of shit.

This thrill usually turns into panic when you realize you just screamed into the tiny microphone of your tiny game device on a crowded bus on your way to work.

Still, it feels fucking sweet to let ‘er rip.

Synopsis

Much like the previous installments, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney is about, wait for it now, wait… wait… an attorney! Not only that but he’s brand new (just like Phoenix was in the first one, and his boss in a later flashback episode). I assume this is so that anyone who is green and playing this for the first time can get yet another walkthrough on how to be a lawyer. Sadly, If you haven’t played the earlier games, the insane plot that develops in this one will be somewhat pale in understanding, depth, and appreciation. You go up against the same guy from the other games (the douchebag with the glasses… I can’t remember his name) and slowly rip his case apart. Even the first case causes some brain melting when you realize what’s going on. I swear this game wastes no time ruining your understanding.

Apollo learns the ropes from his boss, but later finds himself at the Wright Talent Agency. Here is he introduced to his future side-kick, Trudy. Trudy is 15, a magician, and apparently Phoenix Wrights daughter. This is somewhat puzzling, because this title is set 7 years later, and in the last installment – Trials and Tribulations if you’re curious – he didn’t even have a love interest a living love interest in which to house his unborn spawn. So right from the get-go, thing’s aren’t what the seem.

Let me assure you that by the time you get to the third case, you will throw your hands in the air and scream at your DS. “This is insanity!” I was quoted to say, “It’s like they got all the old writers from LOST and threw them at the franchise!” Trust me when I say that though I was a gibbering idiot – made so by the utter and complete batshit nonsense that was going on – my statement was completely accurate. The story does culminate to some sort of sense at the end, but by Jove did they have to stretch to get it all to fit. Much like a fat woman who thinks that wearing a smaller size will actually make her look smaller, Apollo Justice simply has too much required back-story to fit into it’s size 2 hotpants.

Mechanics

Very little has changed throughout the series, with three notable exceptions.

First, The Magatama is not exclusively used. Now I say “exclusively” because there is a point where it is put into play. It is not, however the secret weapon of Apollo Justice. In his case, his bracelet, a large wooden thing, tingles. When it tingles it allows him to focus. When he focuses, he can detect small ticks people exhibit when fibbing out their ass. Granted, a facial tick is a bit of a stretch when it comes to court proceedings but, hey, I’m not a lawyer. In any case, when detecting ticks, you get a blown up view of the witness, and while looking though something distinctly “Eye of Sauran-y” you canvas their body while they speak. When you find the phrase in question, you bust them. This is followed by the presentation of evidence.

The second element is actually an older one, but you can now examine every piece of evidence in your possession. This very rarely serves an actual purpose, but it’s nice that they included the ability. Many little useless yet useful tidbits of information can be gleaned from such investigations. I’m sad that this sort of scientific analysis doesn’t factor in more.

Third, but no less a change of pace: 3d stuff. Like, a lot of 3d stuff. Like a lot of actually cool 3d stuff. They actually recreate murder scenes using 3d renderings and I have to say that for what it is, it’s pretty sweet. It works to add a depth to the court proceedings, but sadly it isn’t really used enough to warrant it’s existence at all. It’s cool for the sake of being cool, which is a real shame, given how cool it actually is. It’s like the Fonz jumping a shark. It’s cool in theory, but in practice… well we all know where the saying came from now don’t we?

There is a fourth exception, but it’s an integral part of the plot so I’m unwilling to talk too much about it. The Jurist System is introduced to the story, though it doesn’t play too much of a role short of an eventuality. You eventually take on the role of a jurist to decide the fate of the accused, but other then that I shall let you decide on it. I personally thought it was neat but not a required move on the developers part.

Omissions

I have to make a point that certain things were omitted from the game this time around, and it actually irritated me. Certain characters were missing, but 7 years had passed, and I was willing to let that slide. Onwards and upwards and all that. What irritated me the most was the fact that in previous games, you could present both evidence and profiles to people as part of your investigation. In this installment, the ability to present profiles to people you are interviewing has been removed, and that bugs me. It’s not like they had to have a completely different system for it, and yet they scrapped it. Why? To make room for new-fangled systems (I’m looking at you electronic picture scanner thingimabob) or meerly to simplify the investigation process for new-comers to the series. Either way I’m not impressed with their choice.

Also, there are only four stories to be found in Apollo Justice. This came to a shock to me, because I’m used to enjoying 5 mind-bending stories of deceit and subterfuge. Instead I was given four utterly mind-crushing, completely bollocks-level stories. Now I don’t mind the fact that they assault the psyche, but I do mind that in order to fit in additional frilly things, they had to drop an entire story.

Overall

I liked it, but I didn’t love it. I loved the earlier installments with a passion, but this one? Well I enjoyed it. It brought my pleasure and killed time – roughly 23 hours over a flight to and from Japan – so I can’t fault it too much on that level. It had sharper and more elaborate graphics than the older games, so in that respect it was great. I think the big failing here was the enormity of the over-arcing story. I could see it all coming a mile away, and yet it was still there was so much left unanswered. Hell, by the end of the game, I was just going through the motions because the game jumped a plot-induced hyper-shark, and I could finally just accept everything they threw at me.

This is not what should happen in a game.

So there you go, I was happy about it, but they reached a little too far, and tripped up on themselves. They got feature-crazy, and forgot what made the series great: investigating, interrogating, and being pimp-assed awesome in the courtroom.

6.5/10

It’s silly, I know, but I have a problem with brain teasers. I can’t put them down without getting really angry at myself for giving up. I will constantly think about the problem until I’ve answered it. It’s really quite unhealthy. So what do you think happens when I come across a game like Professor Layton and the Curious Village?

I lose sleep.

I will finish a puzzle, and then say to myself “just one more, it wont take long.” Next thing I know it’s 1 in the morning and I’m still feverishly solving mind-benders. I find my waking thoughts drifting back to the unsolved puzzles trying to work them out. I obsess over the words, searching for secret meanings and obtuse angles.

I love this game.

It’s one of the first games I’ve played for the DS that actually requires that you use the stylus instead of having it as a novelty. It’s direction, if a bit linear and predictable, is solid and well-written. The music and artistry throughout the game is top notch, and it even has voice acting that doesn’t suffer from Shatner syndrome or make me want to claw my ears off with rusty serving forks.

The story goes thusly: Professor Layton and his sidekick receive a letter in the mail from a duchess requesting his puzzle-solving abilities. When hey arrive, they are told that there is a golden apple hidden away somewhere in the city, along with a huge treasure store. If the Professor can find it, he’d be entitled to a cut, and thought of as a hero. Shortly after this knowledge is revealed, a murder takes place, and the Professor takes it upon himself to solve the mystery of the golden apple as well as the murder. In fact there are 10 mysteries overall that are solved by playing through the story.

Oh, did I mention that everyone in the village is obsessed with puzzles, and will prompt you to solve them with little care for whether you actually would like to or not? Yeah, that happens a lot.

My biggest problem with the game is that it’s so linear it hurts. In order for you to miss puzzles (which you can always access in the puzzle hut – don’t ask – later) all you have to do is go to every screen and talk to every person until they repeat themselves. You have to do this after every Chapter.

Actually now that I think about it, the most annoying part of the game is any of the “hidden” things, because they all require you to tap the screen like a retard, searching for that one magical pixel that will reveal unto you a coin or puzzle. It almost isn’t worth it in the end, except that you NEED coins for some puzzles simply because they are just so obtuse that logic just doesn’t really apply.

Other than that, this game is great. It’s solid from start to finish in its delivery, its novelty, its sound, and its visuals. The story is a little kiddish for me, but the exceptionally difficult puzzles (few and far between, but good God they’re there) help balance it all out. Seriously, if grade six kids can figure all these puzzles out (the script and average puzzle difficulty lands around there) they deserve a prize. I spent hours on a couple of those damned things.

I suggest picking it up and playing through it. You’ll kill time and increase brain activity by solving puzzles, you’ll be entertained, and you’ll even have some intrigue throughout the entire story. It also has a great scene involving a ferris wheel that made me laugh more than it probably should have.

8/10

The downside to the game right off the bat is that there are only four cases, unlike the original version which had five. Other than that, this game features many subtle improvements that should not be overlooked. For starters the cases featured are much longer, and in my opinion have better overall stories in comparison to the first one. I didn’t find myself agonizing over useless conversations as much in this addition to the series, though that still continues to plague the series. On top of that, this one did feature more decision points where you are literally grasping at straws as to what the hell to present to what person to progress the story. As a result, you will end up saving and reloading. A lot.

The major feature added to this game are called Psych-locks. Basically, a Phych-lock (which are introduced fairly well, given the outlandishness of the game) allow you to know when someone is lying, and provides you with a sort of mini-game where you break people down. It’s like cross-examining, but ouside of the courtroom. Fun and painful all at the same time I can assure you. The flip side to the game is that every time you screw up, your health is injured and so it forces you to be very sure of what you’re saying first.

The other feature added into this game was an HP bar of sorts. This generally makes the game harder, because there are many ways to lose your HP, but very few ways in which to gain it back (successful Psych-lock breaks, and moving onto the next day). This does add a bit of an edge to the play, because there is more at stake then before and your health does not refresh between court sessions.

The stories get a bit more out there, and I’m personally wondering how many times they can personally include Mia in the cases. Thankfully these Turnabouts were far more engaging than the first installments’, and I look forward to playing the third to see where they go with the writing. Having said that, there are grammatical and spelling errors to be found in this translation but I didn’t really notice that many, and so I personally didn’t care. This really comes down to how much of a Nazi you are for it. The characters seem a bit more animated (and violent) which helped with the grueling task of having to interrogate everyone.

Totally worth playing, and doubly so if you’re a fan of the first one. My only problem is that there really isn’t much in the ways of replay value. As a result I would say rent it, but unless you plan to do nothing but play this game, chances are you wont have enough time to do so.

Buy it and keep it on your shelf like a good book. You can always replay it way down the road when you’ve forgotten everything!

8/10

The premis of the game is straight-forward. You play Phoenix Wright, Rookie Defense Lawyer. There are five cases, each increasing in difficulty and length. The characters are generally one dimensional but entertaining none the less. It does provide a fair amount of satisfaction ripping witness testimony apart and making them weep like recently-kicked children.

The gameplay is fairly simple. It’s basically a point and click adventure. You go to locations, look for anything you can use as evidence, interview people, then co to court. When in court you rip apart witness testimony using your wits and any evidence you’ve collected. You will also learn to hate the Prosecution and their constant objecting to everything you say. Von Karma is the worst for this, and I wanted to reach into the game and throttle the creep. You also get the option of either clicking or saying “Take That!” “Hold it!” and “Objection!” There are so many times I wanted to yell objection where sadly, objection-ing is not an option.

Sadly the novelty of the court room wears off around the fourth case. Probably because the fourth and fifth cases take for freaking ever. And so much talking. Jesus Christ so much talking. By the end I found myself skipping more and more of the testimony just to get to the point. This leads to two other issues: The game is completely linear, and even if you know who did what, you still need to go through the process. Yes I am aware that this is how real court rooms function (loosely at least) but even still. It’s a game, and I’m not a retard. There is also a shockingly small amount of areas where you can actually lose the game. On top of that, you can’t start the next court date until you’ve finished your “investigation.” This can lead to many boring times spent wondering aimlessly within the games environment looking for that one thing you forgot.

All in all though, great fun and I look forward to playing the rest of the series. It’s worth picking up if only for the fun of yelling “Objection!” really loud.

8/10