I am so very sorry that this is the first movie review I have written in… However long it’s been… has to be for TRON Legacy. Rudy 2 doesn’t really count. Hey it’s my website and what I say goes, junior.
I’ll do my best to follow a format or at least some kind of general flow, but thats going to be hard. The reason is because TRON Legacy sucked. It sucked so very, very badly. At this point feel free to insert whatever sort of ‘your mother’, ‘thats what she said’, or whatever else variable joke you can associate with that statement. I will also state that I haven’t seen the original TRON, but im pretty sure if I had, I’d have probably been pretty upset with what the new release has done.
So with that out of the way…
Overview
TRON legacy, near as I could tell, goes like this: A boy’s father either a: made the original TRON and goes back in to perfect it; or, b: was in the last movie, but was probably not the original creator, and instead goes to make a new version and/or work on the old version.
Anyways, some obvious logic issues crop up and the computer program, CLUE, that Kevin Flynn created betrayed him. Why? Because users were an imperfection, and CLUE was told to create the perfect system. Like I said, basic logic problems. This is logic loops 101 for god sake.
Fast forward roughly 20 years, and our protagonist, Sam Flynn, who happens to be the major share holder of his fathers company but refuses to chair the thing due to his inability to grow up, ends up getting a cryptic message from his fathers old arcade (P.S. his father owned an arcade that somehow hasn’t been torn down or vandalized in the last 20 years. Oh, and it still has electricity). He then gets sucked into the TRON universe where it turns out it was all a master plot by CLUE so he can somehow come into the real world etc. Etc. Oh and the son has to get back to the portal (which is in a totally different place than where he came in for some reason) or he will be trapped there forever (like his dad).
Que the hilarity.
Issues
The premise itself isn’t terrible. Is it oscar worthy? Fuck no, but then again a lot of movies I enjoy can be classed in such a way. It’s a sci-fi movie, and as with all sci-fi movies, I have long since learned to let a lot of shit slide. A lot of utterly bizarre, useless, or outright insane things can and should just be accepted for the sake of the movie. Hell the only time I generally get pissed is when known scientific facts, such as physics, are thrown into a dark cupboard and kept there all night without its dinner.
TRON legacy really pushes a lot of the scientific boundary stuff but it’s an entirely new world so okay fine, whatever you want to do in that universe is well enough. I wont even touch on the fact that it was a linux build, and somehow didn’t crash or require any sort of bootstrapping to get going.
Now, I could create a list of the obvious flaws, of which there are many, such as how come light planes can somehow stall in a world that effectively has no atmosphere. I wont though, because it would both quadruple the length of this review, and there are others who have done a much better job than I could. Google yourself some reviews and you’ll see what I’m talking about.
My major issue is the fact that the acting in this movie, with a quazi-exception for Simon Pegg, was by far the worst acting I have seen in a large scale movie... Possibly ever. Seriously. Everyone is pushing for a single-dimension of complexity, and their character bios can be drawn in goddamned smelly-marker.
Like so:
- Kevin Flynn, Father, ambitious when young, hoisted by own petard when older. When old becomes a zen hippy who will sacrifice himself for his son to make up for fucking off for 20 years. Make sure he says some obviously hippy things, like “harshing my mellow” or something, but make sure they are all delivered painfully.
- Sam Flynn, Son, a renegade that doesn’t want to grow up nor take over his fathers company due to resentment. Basically trys to emulate the new Kirk, but without the acting flair or joy.
- Quorra, Girl, obvious love interest, naive but a good fighter. Must be rescued at least once during the movie. Also, she is an obvious plot device.
- CLUE. The computer program that, despite being born in the single, most complex code-base in the universe, takes his initial instruction literally, which makes him an asshole for some reason.
- Rinzler, the eventual turn-coat, who does so for reasons that don’t actually make sense, even in the goddamned TRON universe. Deus ex machina in a helmut. Make sure he looks like evil Stig. - Before anyone bitches, yes I know that he used to be a a good guy, blah blah blah, but his reverting back makes no sense.
- Zeus, a super flamboyant David Bowie knock-off who has read Alice in Wonderland and has upsettingly dark gay fantasies with with Mad Hatter. Oh also he has to turn on the users. Give him a cane, every flamboyant turn-coat has one.
- Everyone else, fucking useless.
If you take these characters and the plot points mentioned previously, you will get the gist of the new TRON.
More issues
I wouldn’t be so angry about the new TRON if it didn’t look so damned cool. Seriously, the movie is a visual orgasm of technology. The fact that it looks so good, whilst the acting was so terrible points out just where all the money was spent. Well, not all of the money. The rest went to Daft Punk, who did their absolute damnedest to make up for the the terribly story the only way they know how: fresh beats.
The music really does need some special mention here, because it was really, very good. Not as Daft Punk-y as I was expecting, but very good regardless. It is a soundtrack, and one I will seriously consider purchasing. Sadly, this will cause people to ask me about the movie and how boss I thought it was, which will lead to a similar tirade to the one you are reading now, and will end in some awkward silence.
Summary
TRON Legacy is a super-cool tech demo put to a bitchin’ soundtrack that was ruined by the addition of actors.
3/10 (7/10 if someone can make a cut that doesn’t have any actors in it)
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