This is going to sound like an odd article, as I have yet to write anything on this site remotely reflective or contemplative. I don’t know why, actually but that’s just how it’s turned out. In any case, I was talking to Theresa on Sunday when the topic of my friend Norm moving to Japan. She commented on how she was jealous of those who have “free lives” or those who can just “up and do it.” She also made the comment that not all of them succeed, to which I responded with “those are the ones that lack the strength of character to see it out.”
After thinking about it for a little while, i decided to elaborate a bit on what I meant. There are certain types of people out there that can go for it. They set their eyes on something, and the run full steam towards that goal. Nothing distracts them, nothing deters them. I don’t mean that only those who fly off to Japan to live there, or those who will try and do something (build, write, draw, etc) new that could be badly received. I refer to any and every person that sets their goals and lives to them. These are the people everyone should aspire to be. These are the people that can set the bar on how to really live life.
Then there is the other group that merely lives through situations and makes the best of things. They see the world as something that happens, not something to make happen. These are your desk-jockeys. These are your lunch alone in a diner sort of people. These are the people that ride the bus every day and wonder why they got on it, and then forget that they wondered it.
I’m not going to advocate which is the better path, because I know good people who fall under both categories. What I will say is that the first group, those who work towards making things happen for themselves are the ones with the soundest character. They may be assholes, jerks, or whatever label you want to tack on them but it’s true. They know what they want and the go for it. There is something to respect in that, regardless of how much of a dick they may or may not be. That doesn’t mean that they all succeed. I’m sure 9/10 fall on their face and end up working at a gas station somewhere. The other 1 though, they have what I’m talking about (and took way too long to get to.)
Solidarity of character. They have what it takes to stick it out and achieve what they set out for themselves. To use Norm as an example; he wanted to live in Japan. I can trace this desire back at least 4 years as far as I have known him. He’s just always wanted to do it. As such he took the steps to get there. He figured out how to get a visa, and the ensuing fiasco of how the hell to stay in the country for 5 years in order to apply for permanent residency. He also learned the language, the mannerisms, and the culture back to front. He did this while going through school and working. He made it happen for himself, and now he’s over there learning about the 100+ trains he can take to get anywhere and visiting 10 story electronic stores. I also know he has what it takes to see this right to the end, and I’ve never been so proud to be his friend.
Personally, I cannot tell you which type of person I am nor if I possess said characteristic . I can say that I am working towards being part of the first group; to take charge of what I want and to work towards it. It’s hard. It’s fantastically, ridiculously hard though. Sometimes is easier to just throw your hands in the air and curse the fates for bestowing such problems upon their already weary shoulders. I know the feeling, because I have been there. I’m rather sure that I’m not the only one either. Whether you admit to it or not is a different matter entirely, and not the focus of this post.
What I’m getting at here is to get you, the reader, to think about this: “What sort of person am I?”
It’s rhetorical so don’t start emailing me with what you think I am. You can, but that’s not the point here.
What sort of person are you?
[EDIT November 12, 2007]
I just came across this article at work (I read this RSS feed, its both informative and entertaining.) Madam Naomi makes a rather good point that I wish to integrate with what I have already said here. Those who make things happen for them tend to be perceived as arrogent, cocky, or are otherwise jerks we don’t like. She makes the point that some people are actually arrogent, and some simply have the balls to stand up and fight for what they want.
The two get used somewhat interchangeably and I would like to point out that not everyone that fights for it is cocky. I call it ‘solidarity of character’ she calls it ‘having balls’ but both mean the type of person who stands up for what they want and fights for it. In retrospect, her way of saying it is way more ballsy. Damn it all!
Just thought I would clarify that one. Cocky people do suck, though they still make it happen for themselves so give props where it’s due.
[/EDIT November 12, 2007]
[EDIT 2 November 12, 2007]
Jesus christ! Did everyone have this same thought pattern around the same time or what? I mean wow, it’s almost sort of creepy, given that I hadn’t read either article when I had written mine. Crazy. I mean this one is a little different then what I’m talking about, but it all relates back to what I was saying. In this case Jarkko states that people in movies seem to live such fuller lives, and he states that it is because they never give up. They have a goal and they work unendingly towards it.
It all comes full circle here people.
[/EDIT 2 November 12, 2007]
Hi there… I concede – they get their props where they’re due. I don’t know if cocky is better than wimpy – I tend to think that wimpy is curable and cocky is not, but great points anyway. What a fantastic looking blog!
oh I concur, there are boot camps for wimps, but cockiness tends to be terminal. Thank you on the blog comment, though I merely altered what was already a stunning layout.
What a great post! I love hearing these real-life examples of people who make things happen to them. Both thumbs up for Norm.
As you say, it’s really hard to say to which category you fall yourself. I too (just like you) am one of those people who are trying hard to be in the first category, and find it hard at times. Life is easier when you just let it flow. But I also believe that it’s a lot less interesting if you don’t try to make it into what you want.
Naomi had a great post about fear, and from it I got the idea that if you aren’t afraid, you’re doing something wrong: If you are truly trying to define your life by your own standards, there is fear involved. But by overcoming that fear, you can reach huge accomplishments, such as moving to Japan. :)
Thanks for the post – it’s great to hear/see/read likeminded people write their thoughts!
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