Kids, try imagining how far the universe extends! Keep thinking about it until you go insane.

I’m on a slight Sam & Max binge at the moment, so you will forgive my use of a quote from one of their many adventures.

I’ve been somewhat busy over the past little while what with work and all. I’ve finally started my job at The Revolution Night Club in Waterloo. I thought that my working from 10 to 3 in the morning would beat me up way more then it actually has. As long as I get a nap in before going to work, I’m fine. Besides, It allows me to wake up at 12 in the afternoon, which is some sort of accomplishment for me.

Since this is one of my few pointless personal posts, I figure I may as well talk about what it is that I do there. I have the glamorous job of bussing. “What is bussing?” you ask? A busser is that sucker that walks around picking up empty, abandoned, or otherwise useless husks that are the plastic cups, glasses, and bottles which once housed booze. A busser is, for lack of a better term, a janitor. We clean up the drinks, spills, and when it happens, vomit that occurs throughout the night. It’s not a great job, but I actually don’t mind it. I found I can tune out the thug music stunningly well, and I’m apparently good at my job. I don’t mind vomit, I’m good at moving through crowds of people, and my father-blessed work ethic makes me do my job well.

I have learned some things from the two shifts I have worked, and I feel the need to share some of these things. To make things convenient, here is a list:

1. Pay attention to your drinks people. It’s a waste of money to buy a drink, only to drink 3 sips of it and abandon it for any reason. You know as well as I do that you won’t drink it when you come back, and all you’ve managed to do is waste perfectly good alcohol, and your cash.
2. Drunk people are generally nice. I always thought that the Rev was a den of assholes who are itching for a fight. Not true, as it turns out. People are, for the most part, nice the more alcohol they consume.
3. The difference between the 19+ night and the 21+ night is staggering. On the 19+ night, no one is allowed to have bottles, the girls dress like tramps, and the guys are all trying to impress. Apparently aging two years does wonders for maturity levels. So much so that people can drink from bottles, dress more respectably, and dance on stages.
4. People never go when there is no cover. The Rev is free until 10:30 pm. Why is it that people don’t show up until 12 am then? What a waste of money people. it’s 6 bucks to get into the club after 10:30, so why not just go early and relax while there is a lull in the person count. It’ll help you get more drinks faster as well.
5. Girls dress like tramps, and it’s not impressing anyone. If you’re using your curves (or a lack therein) to attract a mate, trust me when I say that they’ll probably be lacking any redeemable qualities. Please don’t disrespect yourself by dressing like a hooker. If you do, you’re not allowed to get mad when guys stare at your jiggly bits. Have some self-respect.
6. People don’t really start to drink until nearly 1 am. Then it gets fucking crazy.
7. A lot of people can’t dance. I’m not saying they shouldn’t, because dancing is fun and who cares what anyone else thinks. Though if you are trying to impress the opposite sex (or the same if thats your bag) you have to learn at the very least how to not look like an epileptic monkey on the dance floor.
8. Girls like to scream/cheer at the most random shit.
9. Remixes are preferred to the originals.
10. Only white folk seem to like Techno. I don’t want to generalize here, but that what I’ve seen thus far.
11. 3 out of 100 people know how to dance to Techno. Considering our Techno room only holds like, 150 people, thats not a good ratio.
12. Girls thank you for taking away empty drinks. Guys nod.
13. Never try and pick up at a 19+ night. You don’t want what’s being served. If you really want to pick up, go to the 21+ or 25+ nights. Everyone is more relaxed and easy-going.
14. Don’t go to bars or clubs by yourself. It’s fucking depressing to look at. If you do go alone, at least mingle with people. Don’t sit at a booth by yourself. You can sit at home in your underwear and drink if you want to feel depressed. You really don’t need to see everyone else being happy to get you to that low.
15. I love ear plugs.
16. To hell with everyone who said steel-toed shoes were a bad idea. Drunk people are clumsy, and I’ve had my foot stepped on a lot considering I’ve worked two shifts.

On top of all that, working this job also has the added bonus of working out some muscle groups that never get taxed. So by working this job, I should technically end up in better physical shape.

In other, not Rev related news, I’ve almost finished reading Wicked, and my review should be posted some time this week, assuming I have the time to finish it. It’s a good book so far, though I won’t give away my thoughts just yet. I’m also going to try and finish Mario: Thousand Year Door. I have a horrible habit of getting through games to about the 80% mark, and then just dropping it. I’ve done that to at least three games that I can think of off the top of my head. I’m also going to try and get some more writing in. By my figuring (which involves a very complex equation that factors work, laziness, and drive) I should be finished my “book” by the year 2016.

Oh and before I forget, I got the chance to see Van Halen in concert on Thursday. Free tickets given to me by a co-worker. I’ve never listened to Van Halen actively, so this was basically a crash course in their music. It’s pretty good, if not a tad shallow. Everything was from the 1984 album or before. What really made the concert for me were the two solos within the show. The drum solo had me smiling throughout the whole thing, and the guitar solo left me stunned into silence. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in my feelings as the entire stadium (and there were a lot of people) was utterly silent throughout the guitar. I’m happy I got to see it, though I’m a little sad we missed The Tragically Hip.

That should wrap things up for now.

I think we’re alone here you and I
I think we’re alone left wondering why
I think we’re alone here you and I
I think we’re alone in the universe tonight

David Usher – Alone in the Universe

Corey signing off.